Silence and Amusing the Muse...
I feel as though my lack of presence, in these past few months, to write something is a condition that could be amusing the muse. I understand that the muse is always there and always available. I really do believe this. Although, there are times when I can’t get out of my own way and I fall into conditional traps that our lives have in store for us. Sometimes we must consciously dust off the cobwebs of our own life experience. Many of us go through life simply reacting to what is thrown at us rather than realizing just how much power we have to directly and consciously create the life we are living. There is indeed a drastic difference. Not better or worse, but I do feel one way of living is much more rewarding than the other.
You see, I believe that there is a lesson to be found in any given situation of life. I live in the idea that life is given to us for us to learn. For us to learn how to live in the multi dimensional space and to then deposit that information back into the ether upon our death. Deposit our souls experience back into the “Cosmic flux” as I call it. Our place is to learn and also to question what we learn again and again in order to be most definitive in our understanding of our world around us. To find our perception of inherenIf we pay attention there are lessons for us always. In any given failure or success. In any given positive or negative that life might hand us I do feel there is a nugget, a lesson to be learned.
These past few months have left me in a reflective place rather than an active place where my ideas would flow and produce to become an article or a post, or even a chapter in the next book that I’m working on. I feel as though there are times when I have been waiting for the muse. Allthewhile, the muse is sitting right there, waiting for me to tap in, or ask to become present and allow me the inspiration to write.
How much of life do we live that can be us simply waiting for something to react to rather than creating the life we are living. No matter where we are within the infinite levels of awareness we are always creating the life we are experiencing whether consciously or unconsciously. I know this through my own direct awareness of the experience. If only conscious awareness happened more frequently.
Krista and I went to a BBQ gathering yesterday. There was quite a varied mix of people that I found quite interesting and had some very nice interactions with. For some reason, I was drawn to wear a T-shirt that I have with a graphic of an old typewriter (like as shown above) with “Word.” written across the top. I wore this consciously. As soon as I arrived someone came up to me and said, “I notice your shirt, are you a writer?” To which I answered, “As a matter of fact, I am”
Ok, go. The shirt did its thing. Exposing a bit of light through the cracks of the walls of life we place upon ourselves. Those layers of protection that we use when we “egg up” as we go about our lives helping us to deflect some of the energies of others that might affect our day. That might affect our attitude. That might detract us from our purpose. Those energies are everywhere.
This time I allowed a crack to show. A nuance of my life was exposed, by choice, in order to allow someone to enter my space safely helping to create a connection or a conversation that we can begin with. I found out he was a writer and has published twelve books, so far. I found that he had gone to law school and got his JD. We had a nice discussion about law, writing, publishing and the bay area fog bank that had come through creating a situation where some of us began to congregate around the warmth of the grill.
After a time, our discussion came to a close and we decided to introduce ourselves to other people at the gathering. Without missing a beat, the grill master turned to me and asked me if I wanted to put the asparagus that I brought onto the grill. I got my greens and laid them our on the pan he had covered with foil. We slipped them into the grill and closed the lid.
“Thanks, my name is Doug.”
“I’m Mark”(name changed) He said gesturing out an elbow to elbow greeting as if learned in grill mastery school or living through the life of Covid. The words “EVIL” and “LOVE” were on his knuckles. There were parts of an inked snake swirling around his neck peeking out of his shirt collar. He had a heart on his forearm with the word “admire” in it. He was a substantial presence. He possessed a large body covering a large frame covered in colorful tattoos. He hadn’t talked with anyone at the party yet as he was behind the grill in his zone. There had been a quiet introspection to his grill mastery.
“So, I believe I heard from your conversation there that you have a personalized background in the world of law?” His eyes turned and looked directly into mine.
“I do, actually. In 2011, I sued Wells Fargo Bank for foreclosure fraud and ended up litigating things myself. It took me through State Superior, Appellate, State Supreme, Federal, and IRS court and Unlawful Detainer court. All at the same time over a four year period. I wrote a book on the subject called, Quantum of Justice.”
“Great title. Have you thought about being a lawyer?”
“I have thought about it. For a time, I could have been a lawyer in 9 states, due to my personal litigation experience. I think some of that has time limits to it.” I replied.
“You can get sponsored by another attorney if you put in hours in the legal world who can sign off if you were to take the bar exam. I am a lawyer and I have an organization that works in complex mass tort litigation. We work with groups of litigants against corporate interests. Not class actions, but mass tort litigation. Slightly different. We do a lot of work to help people who are homeless or about to become homeless and are dealing with shady landlords or illegal evictions or wrongful foreclosures.”
He went on to tell me that he had spent many years in prison. He has 16 felony counts against him. His intelligence did not go unnoticed on my end as we continued to talk. He had is own thoughts about the prison for profit industry complex that most of American society seems to conveniently ignore.
Somewhere during our conversation the patroness of the gathering came by with a deck of Tarot cards. I picked a card after thinking of a question.
“Silence” was the card I chose. Finding answers in silence. Using silence to clear space in order for the muse to deliver. Source gives us answers in our silence. We create space through our silence for our lessons to show up and give us answers.
This morning, Krista and I enjoyed our coffee in front of a morning fire. This time of year, in our part of the world, there tends to be a morning chill in the air due to the fog that permeates around the bay before it lifts around noon time. So, some nice music with a fire, coffee and a mimosa is perfect.
Krista picked out a book from our bookshelves titled “The Bhagavad Gita”. I opened it up to read: Chapter 4, Verse 18
“Those who see action in inaction and inaction in action are truly wise amongst humans. Although performing all kinds of actions, they are yogis and masters of all their actions.”
All of this brings me to today’s write. To yesterday’s card pull.
“Silence”. I realize I have been silent for a while, in this forum, and wanted to bring forward what had been going on a bit in my life. However, I also realize that I need to understand that silence can in itself be an action if one is aware of being silent. So, I must allow the silence to be authentic. I must also realize that the muse resides in silence. I must also realize that true silence is the authentic act of inaction. However, the profoundness of silence is found in the inaction of action.
In our society of instant information, constant contact, immediate response, Tik-Tok, Instagram, Twitter and so many other platforms that take us away from our here and now that it is not only OK but imperative to allow ourselves some “Silence”. We must give ourselves time to remove ourselves from what we allow to affect us in our social interactions and social processes of our day. We must allow ourselves the room for our own muse to show up. We must create space through silence that gives us the space for us to find out about us.
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